The Dream

(1)

The dream

"I went to look at the swimming pool and saw that the water was black. I thought that perhaps, the reason was the time of the day - it was late in the afternoon, and the tress were unfolding their shadows over the earth. Wanting to be sure, I took some of the water on my caped hand. To my surprise and astonishment, the water was absolutely black. I looked at the surface of the pool again and saw some light reflecting in the blackness, and some air making the thick mass vibrate under that light. The black thing was a 15cm bed of rotten dirt, compacted and floating on the surface of crystal water. Suddenly, I heard from the distance the faulty sound of the filter, explosions and lights... the possibility of fire burning the whole system of filtering. It was obvious that the filter was struggling with such a heavy bed of dirt! I run in despair thinking that the whole motor was going to explode. I reached the handle among sparkling lights and infernal sounds. I switched it off."

I wake up panicking. My heart was pounding... the first idea came as a lightening: "I am not drinking water! My kidneys are going to collapse!

It was August 2008 then, and even though I knew this was true from the point of view of the element "water", I also knew that the dream, as a symbol, was pointing beyond a physical starvation: it was about another sort of starvation: It was about my Soul starvation.

I was angry, resentful and disenchanted. I was touching the edges of my own insanity, and at the same time, I was realising something more subtle - I was not only realising my insanity, but I was realising that the insanity and the ego were just the same. 

In that edge I asked myself -"Who is that sees this?" But the silence responded, soon to be forgotten.
In real life, the swimming pool was really rotten. The day after the dream I found the water still dark green ( I was for two days doing the shock treatment). The water reached a stare of high algae concentration because of the continuous rain and my lack of commitment to the monthly routine. I continued with the treatment for another two days after what the water started separating from the dead algae and, as in the dream, but without explosions, the filter stopped. I removed the algae and soon it was working again. Finally, on the 5th day the water was crystal transparent, and the dream and the outcome of the pool event became a metaphor for what was happening in my life. What I didn't know, was that this metaphor was about something yet to happen. I started drinking water more often, but it wasn't enough. Like the water in the swimming pool, I needed a shock treatment.

Written in winter, 2008